What are you?

A human being, a person, a writer, a dreamer, a lover of life, a wife and daughter. I am so many things, but this question does not specify what they really want to know. There are much better ways to ask about my ethnicity, or any other mixed person's, without being demeaning. This question might seem harmless, but it strips away what makes me who I am and rather focuses on my appearance. How I don't fit into the "normal" ethnic categories we have all known for so many years. Well, news flash folks! You're going to see more people that won't fit into any traditional ethnic box or category as the years go by, so please start learning to come up with better questions.

What I have heard the most are:

• What are you? - the worst question ever
• Where are you from? - resulting in country or state of origin
• Where are your parents from? - pretty much the same answer above
• Where did your family/grandparents come from? - can still return the same type of answer above
• What's your nationality? - American
• You're black and white, aren't you? - I am, in general, and this question is rarely asked
• Do you speak Spanish? - No, but apparently I look Puerto Rican
• What is your background? - Well, I was born and raised in California...
• Are you mixed? - Yes, I am

The best way to ask me or another mixed person is:

• What is your ethnic background?
• What is your ethnicity, if you don't mind me asking?
• What are you mixed with?
• Are you biracial or multiethnic?

Of course, you should probably get to know the person you're talking to a little bit before you dive into the personal cultural questions. It can be pretty rude and disrespectful to just blurt out any of the questions above without an introduction. When  I'm asked a question about my ethnic background off the bat it's as if I, as a person, am very unimportant while my contrasting appearance is what makes me who I am. I am more than my appearance, and only want to be treated like anyone else. Do you ask a white person what their ethnic background is? Or black? Or Asian? Or Latino? Most people don't. That also doesn't mean that it's polite to make assumptions and try to categorize me or other mixed people before finding out our ethnicity, nor anyone else's for that matter.

I have learned to never assume anything about anyone when it comes to culture and race since that person could be made up of any racial background. Skin color doesn't tell much about a person's ethnicity since people range in different shades in all cultures. Traveling abroad has really opened my eyes, and I think everyone should get the chance to visit other countries or interact with as many people from a variety of ethnic backgrounds. So, go meet new people, be respectful by using better questions, and get to know them. You'll learn something you didn't know before.